anecdote 6 – HEALING JANET’S WOUNDS a true story

HEALING JANET’S WOUNDS

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A true story of Light and darkness

Names have been changed.

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SINCE THE AGE OF 7 UNTIL SHE LEFT HER HOME AT AGE 12, JANET WAS REPEATEDLY RAPED BY HER STEPFATHER. HER MOTHER DISCOVERED THIS A MONTH AFTER IT STARTED BUT DID NOTHING ABOUT IT.

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SHE FEARED HER SECOND HUSBAND, A MECHANIC, WOULD LEAVE THEM AND THEY WOULD STARVE TO DEATH. SHE WORKED TWICE A WEEK WASHING CLOTHES BUT HER INCOME WAS NOT ENOUGH. ALSO, SHE FELT INADEQUATE IN SATISFYING HIS SEX DRIVE.

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THE STEPFATHER TOLD JANET HE WOULD KILL HER IF THE NEIGHBORS EVER FOUND OUT. SHE BORE HER PAIN ALONE AND IN SECRET FOR SIX LONG YEARS. SHE WAS MUTILATED SPIRITUALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY ON TOP OF PHYSICAL ABUSE.

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WHAT WAS MORE PAINFUL WAS HER MOTHER AGREED TO LET HER BE ABUSED. SHE FELT UNLOVED AND HATED. TO PROTECT HERSELF FROM THE HARSH WORLD, SHE SIMPLY CLOSED HER SPIRIT TO EVERYONE. SHE MADE HERSELF NUMB AND UNFEELING, SUPPRESSING HER ANGER AND HATE. EVERYDAY, SHE STARED AT NOTHINGNESS. SHE WAS A CORKED VOLCANO, READY AT ANYTIME TO EXPLODE INSIDE. IT WAS EASY AT THIS POINT TO COMMIT SUICIDE OR LOSE HER MIND, OR SOMETHING ELSE GRUESOME.

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ONE MORNING, A BOY LOOKING FOR A TENNIS BALL, STRAYED INTO THEIR HOUSE. AS HE SNEAKED IN UNNOTICED, HE SAW THE STEPFATHER ABUSING JANET. HE RAN AND REPORTED THIS IMMEDIATELY TO HIS FATHER, WHO SOUGHT HELP FROM A SISTER FROM A NEARBY ORPHANAGE FOR SEXUALLY ABUSED CHILDREN.

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THE SISTER CAME WITH A POLICEMAN TO RESCUE JANET. MOTHER AND STEPFATHER DID NOT PUT UP A FIGHT. IN THEIR SHAME, THEY LET JANET GO INSTANTLY. IT WAS A QUICK AND EASY RESCUE.

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AT THE ORPHANAGE, JANET MET OTHER CHILDREN WHO, LIKE HER, WERE VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ABUSE. BUT TIME TOOK A TOLL ON JANET. SIX YEARS WAS JUST TOO MUCH. JANET DID NOT SPEAK A WORD TO ANYONE FOR TWO LONG YEARS. SHE KEPT TO HERSELF AND NEVER MADE FRIENDS WITH OTHER CHILRDEN. SHE WAS COMPLETELY CLOSED TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD. THE WOUND WAS TOO DEEP INSIDE HER FOR ANYONE TO REACH. THE SISTERS FELT SHE WAS GOING CRAZY.

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THE SISTERS HAD A SPECIAL PROGRAM TO PUT THE 30-ODD CHILDREN IN GROUPS OF FIVE TO SIX TO TALK TO EACH OTHER. TO INSURE THAT THEY WOULD BARE THEMSELVES TO EACH OTHER AS A FORM OF THERAPY, NOTHING WAS REVEALED OUTSIDE THE GROUP. ONLY THEY SHARED AND KNEW THEIR OWN SECRETS. NOT EVEN THE SISTERS KNEW.

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ON THE FIRST DAY IN JANET’S CIRCLE OF FIVE, NO ONE WANTED TO TALK. AN HOUR PASSED BY. THEY SIMPLY STARED AT EACH OTHER. A SISTER CAME TO COMMENT THAT THEY WOULD FEEL BETTER IF THEY TALKED AND SHARED. TO BREAK THE ICE, SISTER SPOKE ABOUT HERSELF SHAMELESSLY THAT SHE TOO WAS ONCE A VICTIM OF SELF ABUSE. THE OTHERS SAW HER WATERY EYES AS SHE SPOKE OF THE TRAUMA AND THE PAIN. FINALLY, TINA SPOKE. THE SISTER LEFT THEM.

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TINA

I was nine years old then. A man came to visit my mother and they talked for a long time. Finally, before leaving, the man gave my mother five thousand pesos, something we had never seen in our lifetime. She gave me five hundred pesos and told me to buy chicken and noodles and anything I liked. I bought ice cream and tasted it for the first time in my life. We had a feast, mother and daughter. While we gobbled such delicious food, my mother explained that I had to go with that man tomorrow to do a task for him. The money was my ‘salary’. I was scared but had no choice. I agreed, not knowing what I would do or what would happen to me.

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Next day, the man came and we took a taxi to a far away place. We entered a big house and a Japanese man let me into his room. The man who brought me left. I was told to undress. I did not want to. The man forced me and raped me. My sex organ was bleeding.

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AT THIS POINT, TINA COULD NOT CONTINUE. TEARS STARTED FLOWING. TWO OTHER GIRLS FOLLOWED, SOBBING ALOUD. IT WAS THE ABSOLUTE ICE BREAKER. LIKE MACHINE GUN FIRE, THE OTHERS TOLD THEIR PAINFUL EXPERIENCES. TEARS WERE ALL OVER THE PLACE. A LOT OF SPIRITUAL UNWINDING WAS HAPPENING AT A RAPID PACE. THEY EMBRACED EACH OTHER. A CATHARSIS STORM ENSUED. BUT NOT JANET. SHE WAS SILENT AND WITHOUT EMOTION. SHE JUST HAD AN EMPTY STARE.

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EVERYDAY FOR A WEEK, THE GROUP MET MORNING AND AFTERNOON. THEY WERE UNWINDING THEIR SOULS TO EACH OTHER. THEY WERE GETTING CLOSE AND INTIMATE WITH EACH OTHER AS THEY SHARED THEIR DEEPEST PAINS. THERE WERE DAYS WHEN THEY SCREAMED WITH JOY TELLING THEIR STORIES OR GIVING JOKES. THEY DID NOT KNOW IT BUT THEY WERE FORMING A ‘FAMILY’ OF THEIR OWN. BUT NOT JANET. SHE STARED INTO THE EMPTINESS OF HER SOUL, NO TEARS, NO EMOTION, JUST A BLANK SILENT STARE. THE OTHERS TRIED TO PERSUADE HER TO SPEAK. THEY SAID IT FELT GOOD ONCE THEY TALKED OF THEIR PAIN. BUT JANET WAS CLOSED TIGHT LIKE A SEA SHELL. NO ONE COULD OPEN HER UP, NOT EVEN HERSELF. SHE WAS AS COLD AS ICE.

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IN THEIR REGULAR SESSIONS, THEY WERE GETTING USED TO SILENT JANET. ONE DAY, THEY ALL DECIDED TO HUG HER. THAT PHYSICAL TOUCH WAS THE CLINCHER. JANET WAS JUST WAITING TO BE SHOWN SOME SEMBLANCE OF LOVE. FOR THE FIRST TIME, TEARS FLOWED PROFIOUSLY, POURING LIKE A DELUGE DOWN HER CHEEK, AS IF TWO YEARS OF TEARS WERE SAVED FOR THAT MOMENT. THE FOUR OTHER GIRLS FELL SILENT AS THEY SAW JANET CRY.

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SHE SPOKE, AT FIRST CROAKING LIKE A FROG, BECAUSE SHE HAD NOT USED HER VOCAL CHORDS FOR TWO YEARS. THE OTHERS LISTENED INTENTLY AS SHE TOLD EVERY DETAIL OF HER PAIN OF SIX YEARS OF RAPES. THERE WERE SIGHS FROM THE AUDIENCE. SHE WAS RUNNING OUT OF TEARS. FINALLY, BEFORE SHE COULD FINISH HER STORIES, THEY ALL GANGED UP ON HER AND HUGGED HER AND IT WAS A TEARS PARTY ALL OVER AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME WITH JANET REVEALED.

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AND SO JANET HAD AN INSTANT METAMORPHOSIS FROM TOTAL DARKNESS TO BLINDING LIGHT AT THE BLINK OF AN EYE. SHE BECAME THE LIFE OF THE ORPHANAGE, A LEADER WHO ALWAYS STARTED THINGS GOING. EVERYONE LOOKED UP TO HER AS THE WISE ELDER SISTER.

I MET JANET BECAUSE I WAS DOING A STORY ON CHILDREN AS VICTIMS OF SEXUAL ABUSE FOR A NEWSPAPER. HER STORY WAS TOLD TO ME NOT BY HER BUT BY A SISTER. I PEEKED INTO THE KITCHEN AND SAW JANET GIGGLING AS THEY PREPARED NOODLES FOR OUR AFTERNOON SNACK. WHEN SHE SAW ME, A TOTAL STRANGER, SHE SMILED. SEEING HER, I FELT I HAD KNOWN HER A LONG TIME AGO.

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THERE IS SO MUCH DESPAIR AND PAIN IN OUR WORLD TODAY. THE BEST GIFT WE CAN GIVE OTHERS IS THE GLIMMER OF A TINY CANDLE LIGHT OF HOPE, WHICH CAN SOMEHOW ENCOMPASS AND CONQUER THEIR DESPAIR AND DARKNESS.

it took other children with pain

to heal janet’s wound

for pain heals pain as fire chokes fire

we all have that Light within us

we just have to find it

and bring it out for all to see

for the Light was given to us

not for our own sake

but for the sake of others

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eastwind

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the people who walked in darkness

have seen a radiant light

upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom

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You have brought them o Lord

abundant joy and great peace

and they celebrate the new harvest

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the yoke that burdened them

the pole on their shoulder

You have smashed as in the days of midian

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isaiah:8:23-9:3

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the Lord is my Light and my salvation

whom should I fear?

He is my refuge, from whom should I flee?

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my foes shall stumble and fall

i have no fear in my heart

for i am secure in the Lord

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psalm 27

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I am the Light of the world

he who follows Me shall not walk in darkness

but shall have the Light of life

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john 8:12

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while you have the Light

believe in the Light

that you may become children of the Light

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john 12:35-36

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Save and send this link to friends and the sick.

healing story 2 – HEALING JANET’S WOUNDS a true story

for those who need healing

find out healing schedule and guidelines at

http://www.sisterraquel.com

queries – sr.raquel.rvm@gmail.com

amdg

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