(Inspired by a character in real life.) Rita was voted the most popular and the most likely to succeed in her graduating class in high school. Everyone looked up to her and admired her. But deep inside, Rita had problems no one knew about.
eastwind journals
March 19, 2025, Archives tr519
By Bernie V. Lopez, eastwindreplyctr@gmail.com / www.eastwindjournals.com
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In spite of her popularity, and many friends, she was secretly lonely. When she retired in the evening, loneliness would creep in and descend on her like a ton of bricks. She often cried until she fell asleep. Next day, up and early, she bounced around instantly energized for her new busy day. She had a spiritual ailment of being ‘busy but bored’, doing superficial day-to-day things, until she would retire in the evening completely exhausted and lonely.
She was tempted to see a shrink, but she was too afraid people would discover it. So, she secretly saw a parish priest, an intimate childhood friend, Fr. Jesse. After just one session, Fr. Jesse knew the problem right away.
FR. JESSE – (After Rita explained her predicament.) I know a girl who is perfectly happy as a loner. She has only two friends in her life, her pet dog Patton, and her best friend.
RITA – She must be awfully lonely, having only one human friend.
FR. JESSE – On the contrary, she was happy and at peace. Her secret formula was a ‘deep relationship’. Those are the magic words. They shared both their joys and pains. Their worlds merged into one. They helped and comforted each other through thick and thin.
RITA – That’s all?
FR. JESSE – What else is there in a relationship? Quality not quantity, Rita. You can have a thousand friends and still be lonely because you have no deep friends. Get some good friends, Rita. There is a difference between loneliness and solitude. Loneliness gives us depression and sadness. Solitude gives us the chance to meditate and pray and to spend time in our inner garden and talk to our inner self and to the Lord.
So, Rita got one, a good-looking boy, a classmate who was an introvert. Many were saying they didn’t match. But it worked. Rita noticed she had to give up a lot of other friends to spend time with her new-found boyfriend. That was the way it went. She lost a lot of superficial friends who said she suddenly become snobbish. But in truth, she just needed more time for a deep relationship. Time is always of the essence in relationships.
Why Does Affluence Breed Loneliness?
In my travels through Europe and America, I found a lot of lonely people. Ricky was a fantastic Latin Jazz guitarist in the Bay Area, adored by many fans. He had four gigs a week in different places, busy as hell. He lived alone on Broadway and wallowed on alcohol. Like Rita, when he got home, the problem started.
Olga was an Executive Secretary for the President of a prestigious bank in Stockholm. I met her in her winter vacation in the Canary Islands. We were comparing our pains, me a backpacker, she a assistant to a bank president. She attempted suicided three times. Why do affluent places breed loneliness and pain? Is there a connection? Do poor people’s lives revolve around the stomach while rich people’s lives around the heart? Read the life story of Olga “A Swedish Princess in Distress” – https://eastwindjournals.com/2021/12/23/a-swedish-princess-in-distress/.
The Trilogy of Love and Pain and Happiness.
There are no magic formulas to heal loneliness as much as there are none to bring happiness. There are no rules, except perhaps one, told to me by an Indian guru I met in Amsterdam.
Do not seek happiness which is elusive. You will only get frustrated. Do not run away from pain which is inevitable. It will knock on your door persistently. Rather seek love which brings happiness. Happiness and pain are mere fruits of love. Pain is bearable if you are in love, and happiness is always there if you are in love.
Finally, the President of Bhutan puts it so nicely – in Bhutan, the President has declared that life is to be measured not in gross domestic product, but in gross domestic happiness, a return to the spirit in a world of matter.
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FOR THOSE WHO NEED HEALING, spiritual or physical (depression, anxiety, loneliness, terminal cancer, covid, diabetes, etc.) – say a healing prayer with one or both healers –
1) Father Fernando Suarez – www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UP3LHBgtIc.
2) Sr. Raquel Reodica, RVM – www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAZcwNimBSg (download free e-book ‘Healing Stories of Sr. Raquel’ at eastwindjournals.com/2021/08/13/healing-stories-of-sr-raquel-e-book-free-download/).
AUTHOR’S BOOK – Wings and Wanderlust – Discovering Your Inner Self. At age 26, the author hitchhiked 25,000 kilometers in Europe and North Africa for three straight years. In this book of his wild adventures, he learned deep insights that changed him totally, which he wants to share with readers. It also a guidebook on how to plan your own adventure.
Order a paperback or an e-book. For paperbacks, if you are a Philippine resident, save on shipping cost by ordering by email at eastwindreplyctr@gmail.com. For e-books, if you have an IPAD, download the app ‘kindle’. For non-IPADS, buy a kindle device (check guidelines.) – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09KS7QYWL.
Author’s Credentials. Blogger – ex-Columnist (Inquirer) – Healing Ministry – ex-Professor (Ateneo University) – Documentary Producer-Director (freelance, ex-ABS-CBN, ex-TVS Tokyo) – ex-Broadcaster (Radio Veritas) – Facebook “Bernie V. Lopez Eastwind” / Pages “Eastwind Journeys and Journals” and “Mary Queen of Peace”.
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