John the orderly (74 years old) is pushing the wheelchair of Kirk the elderly (63 years old). John is muscular and fit, a retired football player. He can push three wheelchairs with two fingers. Tycoon Kirk, nine years younger, is a total wreck, just survived a stroke, a stage 4 diabetes on top of stage 3 Parkinson’s. They are staying in a special senior home for tycoons.
eastwind journals, January 14, 2022 (archive tr187)
By Bernie V. Lopez, firstname.lastname@example.org
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They are in a plush 500-acre home for tycoons, only 7 of them. You ask why tycoons prefer a weird senior home when they can live like kings in their palaces. Simple. On top of avoiding nagging wives or being divorced and lonely, it is the company which excites them. The magnificent 7 tycoons, competitors in business for decades, “arch-friends”, love it because they claw at each other, which is their past time. They are never bored.
John and Kirk are taking a morning stroll through the vast garden of manicured lawns and giant pine trees.
JOHN – What are you going to do with all your billions? You are a walking corpse, one foot in the grave.
KIRK – Two feet, John. (They both laugh.)
JOHN – Seriously, who will inherit your vast empire? You have no family.
KIRK – Shut up. I don’t know yet. I certainly will not give you a single cent.
JOHN – I don’t need your billions.
KIRK – Of course you do. Seriously, I want my empire to make a dent on humanity.
JOHN – Such megalomania. What for? Just give it to me. I will make the dent for you.
At this point, Kirk has a convulsion. He starts to drool. John searches for his medicine from his bag. Nothing there. Panic. They are too far from the infirmary. To save time, instead of going through the winding paths on the wheelchair, Kirk carries him bodily and, on a fast trot, makes a bee line for the infirmary. After an hour, Kirk is out like nothing happened.
JOHN – You almost died back there, you know.
KIRK – Death wish. Thanks for saving me. I change my mind. I’m giving you $200.
Their laughter echo across the vastness. They are unmindful of other tycoon elderlies pushed by athletic olderlies. Tycoon Sam is being pushed by olderly Annie, a hulk of a woman.
SAM – Shut up, you morons.
KIRK – (Giving a dirty finger) Hey, wanna swap olderlies?
SAM – When are you selling me your Texas Unlimited?
KIRK – (Giving another dirty finger) If you sell me your Jewelry of the Nile, Inc.
SAM – No thanks. See ya, moron.
JOHN – (To Kirk, as they move away.) I’m amazed how you can take life so lightly when you have two feet in the grave.
KIRK – You want me to mope and get depressed? Seriously, John, I hide my deep depression with humor. It’s a front, but it helps. If you pretend it is not dark, some sunshine filters through.
JOHN – You hide it very well. That’s a nice way of putting it.
John and Kirk are the best of friends. They will die for each other, a filthy rich guy and a hulk. Kirk was dying. John could sense it as he pushed the wheelchair.
KIRK – It’s cruel of me not to tell you. Promise me you will not squander what I give you.
JOHN – Yes, you are cruel.
KIRK – I will give you enough to setup your dream gym. Is that good enough?
JOHN – I want three gyms. (Laughter.)
KIRK – If I give you more than you need, I will destroy you. Enough I give you a top-of-the-line fishing rod rather than ten tons of fish, right?
JOHN – (Hugging Kirk with tears in his eyes.) I will miss you. What will you do with your vast empire?
KIRK – The money goes to 87 orphanages, 25 in the U.S., the rest in poor Asian countries, Cambodia, Philippines, Myanmar, and so on.
KIRK – Wow. That’s really make a dent. I admire you. By the way, I am marrying Sam’s orderly.
JOHN – Wow. You sneaky worm. Poor woman. (Laughter).
John died on Christmas day. He actually died laughing because the two were swapping jokes, until he slumped dead. John threw his ashes to the wind one quiet evening in the vast garden, as Kirk requested. John had his dream gym and took on the burly woman orderly as his wife. They had two kids. That was all the 74-year-old orderly could do.
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